Gamla ting - underbara ting
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I härliga jultider och ledighet från lumpen, så finns även de stunder man lätt fastnar i det gamla och härliga man hade förrut. Tankar som väldigt klokrent förklaras i nedanstående text..
Från Lelove - i grunden, men "lånad" av min bästa giffel Stinas blogg http://huvudbry.webblogg.se.
"I can't. I can't I can't I can't.
I can't do this anymore. Its going to kill me. I just can't. I need to move on.
But.
I can't stop loving him. I can't and I need to because its the worst thing ever.
I can't because thinking of everything that happened literally makes me sick to my stomach.
I can't because he's the only one I ever think about.
He's the one I don't want to think about, but I cannot stop.
I can't because I never got to kiss him, I never felt his breath between my lips.
I can't because I spend my days fantasizing about him surprising me,
showing up on my doorstep, telling me he made a mistake.
I can't because I see her everyday.
I see her and I think of what they used to have and I agonize over whether he chose her.
I can't because I don't even know if he chose her.
I don't even know because he is so confusing and frustrating
and he makes everything so unclear.
I can't because he might still have feelings for me.
there is that sliver of a chance and while I know its probably not true,
it makes it impossible to let go.
I can't because I think about being in his arms every second.
the hairs of his beard brushing my cheek gently.
the feeling of his warmth beneath my fingers.
I can't because the way our fingers intertwined was perfect.
It felt warm and soft and right.
I can't because he understood me.
He just got me, right from the start.
And I don't find that often. Not often at all.
I can't because we would be perfect together.
I know we would. And it's too hard for me to give up on that.
I can't because EVERYTHING makes me think of him.
crayons. tattoos. band tees. school buses. nose rings.
And every time I see them im completely overwhelmed.
I can't because I practically start crying in the middle of the gym when a song comes on that makes me think of him. Which is a lot of songs.
I can't because I've tried and it doesn't work. I want to stop so much.
Its just not going to happen.
I can't because I don't see other guys. I don't even see them as being guys.
Its like they don't exist to me now.
I can't because I imagined our insane, amazing, beautiful future and it's all I want.
I thought it was really going to happen and now the pain is eating me up.
I can't because I want him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
I can't breathe. I can't focus. I can't be without him. I can't go the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like.
I just can't."
Från Lelove - i grunden, men "lånad" av min bästa giffel Stinas blogg http://huvudbry.webblogg.se.
"I can't. I can't I can't I can't.
I can't do this anymore. Its going to kill me. I just can't. I need to move on.
But.
I can't stop loving him. I can't and I need to because its the worst thing ever.
I can't because thinking of everything that happened literally makes me sick to my stomach.
I can't because he's the only one I ever think about.
He's the one I don't want to think about, but I cannot stop.
I can't because I never got to kiss him, I never felt his breath between my lips.
I can't because I spend my days fantasizing about him surprising me,
showing up on my doorstep, telling me he made a mistake.
I can't because I see her everyday.
I see her and I think of what they used to have and I agonize over whether he chose her.
I can't because I don't even know if he chose her.
I don't even know because he is so confusing and frustrating
and he makes everything so unclear.
I can't because he might still have feelings for me.
there is that sliver of a chance and while I know its probably not true,
it makes it impossible to let go.
I can't because I think about being in his arms every second.
the hairs of his beard brushing my cheek gently.
the feeling of his warmth beneath my fingers.
I can't because the way our fingers intertwined was perfect.
It felt warm and soft and right.
I can't because he understood me.
He just got me, right from the start.
And I don't find that often. Not often at all.
I can't because we would be perfect together.
I know we would. And it's too hard for me to give up on that.
I can't because EVERYTHING makes me think of him.
crayons. tattoos. band tees. school buses. nose rings.
And every time I see them im completely overwhelmed.
I can't because I practically start crying in the middle of the gym when a song comes on that makes me think of him. Which is a lot of songs.
I can't because I've tried and it doesn't work. I want to stop so much.
Its just not going to happen.
I can't because I don't see other guys. I don't even see them as being guys.
Its like they don't exist to me now.
I can't because I imagined our insane, amazing, beautiful future and it's all I want.
I thought it was really going to happen and now the pain is eating me up.
I can't because I want him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
I can't breathe. I can't focus. I can't be without him. I can't go the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like.
I just can't."
1 kommentarer
Stina
17 Dec 2009 00:41
Haha jag älskar att du behöll mina överstrykningar på det som inte passade in min saknad. <3 på fredag kommer jag hem till gbg och ska göra allt för att lätta upp stämningen. Inhandla pulkor kan man ju göra innan det snöar :)
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